Offering Prayer

[collin]

i believe in prayer. i believe in God and his love for us. i know he loves me and he sent his son to die for me. i've been a leader for the discovery weekend at church. it's where you help middle school kids grow in their relationship and faith. there was a kid there who's parents are going through a tough divorce and for whatever-unexcuseable-reason neither his mom or dad came to tonights prayer service. so, a bunch of the other parents and myself stepped up to be there for him. it was such an awesome feeling and i could truly feel God in the room. i can feel him in my living room now, as i'm typing this out, in tears.

but, dangit...if he loves me so, why is he letting me go through this? why does he want me to suffer and feel this hurt? i have learned my lesson. i know where i feel short. i know i became stagnant in both my relationship with him and my wife. we had a guest preacher come in a few months back (coincidentally enough, right when all this mess started) and during his sermon he said something that hit me square in between the eyes..."stagnation leads to separation".

i know he has plans for me. i know he loves me. a lot of people think that just because God is letting something happen to you, he doesn't love you. the thing is, he will allow you to suffer. that's when you go to him and say, "please, father, help...i can't do this on my own." and that's where i am now. i cannot do this on my own.

please. Father. help.