[BrightFuture]

Some updates. I had a busy week. Received the taxes and had to review them before signing. I also sent H a text asking him how he wanted to handle his signature on the tax return. He replied that I either could send it to him, or just sign for him (which I used to do sometimes when we were still together.) I told him that I would e-mail the pages to him and if he could print, sign, scan and send them back to me, or fax to the accountant.

To make the story short, we had some issues with the business e-mail accounts, so he could not download his e-mails. He texted me that he would probably need to take his laptop to the repair shop again to get his e-mail fixed. That was before I discovered that I also could not download my e-mails. So, I got on the chat and was able to resolve the issue with the Internet provider. I took care of things one more time… as I always did.

Yesterday I got a “two page” text from him, LOL. It was split into like 4 or 5 texts, this how long it was. It was just more about the business (car insurance, e-mails, tax returns…) It was not exactly business kind of dry either. I think he is putting some more effort into the communication with me. Always addressing me by name, being very polite, etc. I just replied in businesslike manner and thanked him for things. Then it occurred to me… I’m no longer thinking how and what I reply to him. And, maybe I should…

I think I lost my DB training, LOL. I don’t think I’m DBing anymore. I just treat him as an old friend who needs some help. I do take care of my stuff first though. Sometimes I think that I might need to put a little more thought in my replies. There is definitely an increase in communication from him. Last week I received the texts from him almost every day. All business related, but all of a sadden he seems to be more involved and more appreciative. It seems like he is trying to make a good impression. Did I mention that he is extremely nice to me… It does feel good. I think I made it back to a decent human being, LOL. Compared how he treated me the first coupled years after the BD, like I was nobody, just a business entity, and quite often an annoying one.

So, maybe I need to re-evaluate how I respond to him. Maybe I should engage more. Which I do sometimes, when I feel like it. This is the thing. I do what I feel like and don’t think much about what kind of impression I make on H. I just don’t care anymore.

I have a feeling that he is depressed again. It is like his brain is scattered. He makes stupid mistakes. Just got another text from him while I was typing this, that he accidentally withdrew money from my (joint) account at ATM, but he transferred the money back. He never mixed up the accounts before (except for one time last year.)

It seems like he is tired and not “fighting” things anymore (he didn’t question his portion of car insurance this year, even though it went up because of higher mileage and his ticket). He just transferred the money to me.

At the same time, it seems like he is trying his best to take care of things. The condo mortgage… making sure I received his signed tax return (another text from him today). Not sure if he is doing this in general, or only when it comes to me. I think that he probably realized that I didn’t throw him under the bus, that I kept taking care of things, and that it actually made his life over the last few years easier. I do feel that this is the case.

So, the question is, how do widen the lines of communication? And do I really want it? I need to dust off my DB book and read it again. Maybe I will get an inspiration.

On the social front. Had another happy hour with people from work. Going to my sister’s for dinner tonight. Going to the movie tomorrow with a couple of GFs from work.