Ohboy--Looks like the Wings took a night off before the playoffs, but I hope you still had a good time!
Briget--thanks for looking out for me. I did a quick computer check while W was out and saw your note.
Not much new going on here. W was very calm--actually semi-pleasnt yesterday, but we weren't near each other a lot. My pleasantness is defintiely affecting her, however, because, she continues to think I'm engaged in ways to get her. I can no longer validate this and finally told her that if I was out to get her, there were 45 different things I could do to undermine her, but that was not who I am. Perhaps a bit threatening, but I thgink I needed to say this at least once.
This morning, however, Damian returned with lots of shouting from frustration. It started when I asked the kids some Qs about Palm Sunday. W said this implied that she was not teaching them enough and I needed to show off how much I knew. This got her onto a roll with everything under the sun.
The ambivalance is high, however, in that she actually said she expects me to pacify her. For example, during her tirade (about life in general), the kids were confused and I hugged D5. W asked why don't you comfort her the way I comfort D5 with a hug (I should have asked if she wanted a hug, but every time I try that she bites hard--figuraively). She added that I should be saying she's a good mother and were all entitled to let allow our emotions flow. But instead, she says I scold her the 5% of the time she loses it. I remained calm and continued validating.
It is so clear to me that everything she sees wrong in her life is projected onto me. My detachment is there because I can handle this--and it's clear she's looking for a fight. The new problem I have is that there are upcoming issues on spending and child-rearing that cannot be ignored--and I really don't want to engage this beast right now because on every matter with two sides, she's a bullying, shouting maniac. I can detach, but who needs this crap. I know--patience, patience, patience.
This week, I'm going to check into temporary day care just in case she decides to dump all the responsibilities for child-rearing into my lap. I'd probably have to take off work for a week, but I need an after-school plan in case the need arises.
Take care y'all. Maybe i'll be back tonight for advice on W's upcoming birthday this week.
