As has been pointed out to me from family, I have still spent too long at times trying to work out how I got to this point as W has so many different stories,reasons, exaggerations and lies out there. I have made some mistakes as we all do and can hold my hands up to my part and fix those parts.
I also need to focus on the positives. In the last 2 and a half years, I have moved to a country that I didn't speak the language (for the 2nd time in my life), I have built a house in this foreign country and depsite her saying now how she wanted to help more, at the time she didn't, have done most of the paperwork, alot of the physical work myself. I had never laid floors, plastered, painted etc as what I have done in the past year and a half. I have also pushed my career forward from the low production job I first got after moving here to an Engineering position. I fought and battled against the environment here to get it during the past year and got it, something I have been told is unheard of especially in the company I'm in. Was I the best version of myself during this time, no I wasn't, I was so tired and drained that I thought I couldn't be anymore. Then I get this at the end of it just when things were supposed to settle down again... A ugly bisexual single guy is apparently a more attractive proposition...
Anways, if that is what appeals to W then it really is time to move on. I do miss her company of course and I do miss my kids when I don't have them but I need to focus on the postives when I do. The difference between W and me at times is I have regularly done what I said I would do, maybe not always on her timeframe as we need to walk our own path too, but I don't just talk the talk and she so often has. If she needs to cheat and pull the family part to someday realise what I was actually worth, sorry but I feel I'm worth so much more than that.
Several people believe W was banking on me running away home and leaving her everything, I don't know if that's true or not but she has always wanted a house and a garden that she could do what she wanted with, well she doesn't have that now with her small apartment. She actually offered me the apartment and she would stay in the house at one point. As she is part owner, I am content with the silent partner aspect and she is having to finance her half of the house and her own apartment herself. I am only looking after the house.
Am not sure what to do with her work permit situation as it is attached to me and not her job. Something she was very happy to have when we first got here but is now added to the resentment list.
