It's been a strange week. I started my new high powered management job and have had little time to think about the M. I have been seeing the kids and my W regularly and I took my W to her hospital appointment and we have been going on day trips as a family.
My W tells me on one hand that when I find a better place to live, I won't be able to visit as often yet she then tells me that things are better when we see each other in small bursts like me being the sun going down and her the moon being allowed to breathe. She likes the way I am happier in my job and how I am with the kids. She says she doesn't want a 'romance' and just wants to be friends.
I don't get it. I feel like I am in limbo. She likes me around when it suits her. She needs me but pushes me away. She has cleared the house if all my stuff and put it in the attic. We are taking the kids to a farm today as a family.
If this was a normal relationship, there would be intimacy but that is what makes this all weird. Although we rarely had sex, I now miss it and want it in the relationship. I don't just want to be a convenient friend who doesn't want to let down his family.
Is this a normal grown up co parenting relationship?
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
