Thanks sadhub, I'll certainly try my best. And I know a lot of it is going to be faking it until I make it.

Rather than sit and wallow tonight, or worry about this inevitable talk. I decided to give me a pamper. Make myself feel a little better.

You're right on the monitoring what works and what doesn't. This is something I need to do. So far there's not been many positive reactions apart from a half smile before when I said something. I was being me, a little ditsy- and he did what he always used to and called me on it. It took a lot of strength to try to be upbeat with him when I'm hurting so bad.

Going to pray for a better day, pray God grants me the strength to look after me and toddler. I am for sure enjoying the hugs and love from toddler

Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16