I guess I don't know how to detach. This is not healthy for me. Five months of hell, hope, hell,hope. And still I want her back. I am not well.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Try to remember that even in these five months you've had some good days. You 've told us about your GAL. That should tell you that whatever happens you are going to be alright. Don't let anyone bring you down, you will make your own path in this life. Hang in there.
This level of stress will make you very unwell, it will suppress your immune system and give you an achy body and slow decline in physiology. On top of that poor sleep and a washing machine mind.
Please detach from your WW and have a short break from your sitch.
Your health needs extreme care and uber nutrition. Please seek some health checks and know your numbers.
WW will do as she does, you have no say in it. The fretting will really drive you into the ground at a time you need to become a partner only a fool would leave.
Letting go does not mean ceasing to stand it means that what WW does no longer drives your emotions.
I wish I could offer you a large drink of your choice and warmth of your friends here on the board.
Big hugs
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
From your thread on 2/18. Have you tried this? I dont mean for a day or two. But for a couple of months. Or longer.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Based on that "talk", you're still presenting yourself as the back up option and being too readily available. That has not worked at all...it all does is to set you up for a vicious cycle of scab picking sessions. That is clearly a cheeseless tunnel that has caused you tremendous pain.
What we need to do here is to get you back on the path of getting W to find the cheese: YOU! You ask how? I'm happy to show you the way:
1-Stop talking W. No more discussions at all. 2-Stop seeking out W (texting, emails, looking out your office window, running out of your building to intercept W, etc) 3-Continue with your GAL activities 4-Time for wardrobe changes. Dress up and do sexy outfits when going to basketball games and other social activities. 5-Join a church or some spiritual center that suits your needs the best 6-Surround yourself with gentle and loving people 7-Use thought stopping techniques whenever your mind strays to W and OW. Stop signs in your head or whatever. (What worked for me was distracting myself and forcing me to think of some other things/people. Some use rubber bands. Whatever floats your boat)
ANYTIME YOU FEEL THE URGE TO CONTACT W....come here FIRST! Unload on us....or call friends just to chat about the weather until the urge passes. I have used the 24-hour or 72-hour rule where I step away from the urge to contact Ms. Wonka and it usually passes. Or slap on a pink hued duct tape for 24-72 hours until that antsy pantsy feelings went away.
Darkness, how did you find and research my thread? Thank you for reminding me of this!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
