I'm still doing the work myself. We're just a little further along the line. What helps is that my W's sanity is back. You'll know that when your W can't believe how she was acting and actually beats herself up over it worse than you do (which should be not at all).
As the betrayed spouse will it seem sometimes like you have to eat too much sh*t in order to put it behind you and heal? Yes, those days will hit you where you're both having to work hard because of what she did. It will feel unfair. The thing is, that's when you and I and all of us (be it men or women) have to man up, swallow that sh*t sandwich and learn to develop a taste for it. We're strong enough. Look at what we've survived? Does that mean we're doormats? Absolutely not. If my wife were to violate our agreed upon boundaries I'd walk in a second and wouldn't look back. Now I know I can. I love her with all my heart. I don't check her phone or email even though she's completely open and tells me I can. I refuse to live like that. If I thought I needed to regularly check those things then I would divorce her and move on. You're either all in or all out. You can't half a$$ it.
