I wouldn't call this a thaw, but a view into her game plan.
Although this feels like a chess match because every thought and action has to be thought out and weighed against our overall strategy, we will never capture the king and end the game. The game goes on as long as we are alive. Sure we'll have major accomplishments and capture a queen now and then, but there will never be a final decisive victory. Although we, or S can dump the board and concede defeat = D. But this chess game isn't about winning - it's about playing.
W has been playing her pieces in two games, on two different boards. She been hoping you dump the board and end the game, but instead you've shown her you aren't out to win, you want to play as long as possible. She's starting to see she can't move all her pieces from one board onto another game like she wanted to, ergo the outbursts of anger, and now some slips of acceptance.
She's beginning to be intrigued by the "new" game you are playing now, and is wondering if she can learn the rules, and if any of the old rules (ILY, sex, kids) still apply. She doesn't neccessarily want to play the new game yet, but her slips are showing she's recognized the rules have changed. This is good!
I've also learned you can't upset S's game with OP either, because then S spends all their time picking up those pieces, and some (or most) of them get setup on the other game board again. S has to stop playing one of the games, and it is our job to make our game be the most fun so they choose to end the other game.
