Baby steps

[1313]

Zues, do you think anyone can cheat? Do you think we all have it in us, or is there a trait or conviction that makes some do it and others not?

You know, it's really interesting you bring this up. Personally? I've got a couple of friends that are dogs. I think if I were to have wanted to cheat, I'd have heard nothing from them. There's no way I could ever have an affair, in fact at this moment I'd feel like I was cheating.

When I worked in SF, I had women express their interest on several occasions. Good looking, bright women. Never even considered it. In fact, I wasn't even flattered.

The WW? I know for a fact that 2 of her friends (well 3 actually), 1 an old high school chum and 2 mutual friends not only didn't say anything, but were enablers.

Her assistant? Protected her. Lied for her. Knew the whole time, and even lied to me when I knew!

Her parents? Her Dad, had he known would have freaked out. And, he chewed her out and could still be mad at her. But her Mother - is a very, very, very forgiving Christian. My WW could stab a baby to death, eat it, and my MIL would say that Jesus forgives. Seriously. There's nothing you could do that she would not say "oh well, if this has to happen...", even if she could do something to stop it. She wouldn't. Maybe that's a survival instinct, I don't know. But right now, there's certainly no condemnation.

So, I think that if a person is prone to cheating even a bit (my WW is, and has cheated on me in the past) you've almost got to assume that they somehow gravitate towards like-minded people. And they'll only associate with them as well.

I think if just ONE of her friends had said "WTF do you think you're doing?!?", I truly believe she'd have stopped. Instead, she had friends she talked into thinking I was bad, or always lean towards that sort of gossipy nay-saying sort of attitude anyway. We have (had) 2 friends that have a winery, and didn't tell me a thing about her being there with somebody else every Sunday. I know they were involved because of emails I read before I left. This sort of thing allowed her to get deeper and deeper in her belief/reality.

So yeah, I think one reason she's tried to keep her A as secret as possible is so nobody will confront her. She's still keeping it pretty hush hush in general. I'm sure that she's got plenty of friends with a moral compass. She just relied on the ones that didn't. In the end, that was enough to help push it forward. She's just waiting until the D is final, and then it will be public.