Way Too Late Pt 3

[1313]

Hi Zeus,
I pretty much figured that a lot of what she was saying to me was complete projection. It was like a laundry list. I could easily have given her a point by point on that.

But you're right about the co-dependent thinking. It's huge, and it's always been there. Even when she wasn't doing that well, I'd proper her up, bolster her, give her support. Funny how quickly she forgot that - but I guess when you turn to somebody else for emotional support you don't need it from anyone else.

I had a phone-screen interview today for a job, and maybe for the first time in a long time felt good about myself when she was asking about my history.

A LOT of what you're saying I see in my M now that you bring it up. She always felt so pressured to perform - so she said. I never felt as if I were in your shoes, but I think I was more than I know. What's ironic is that she's doing the exact opposite of what she should have done - she's working more and the house is still "just a closet". Except I guess she's got whoever she feels she needs with her now.

Which is why I want that dog even more now. She doesn't deserve her. I'm also not understanding why the WW - if she was in such a hurry - hasn't set a court date yet after almost 2 weeks. Now, I'm the one in a hurry. I want to know what my future is so I can plan. She knows hers, anything else is just cream. And maybe that's the worst part. To have this hanging over my head with no resolution in sight. In theory, it's supposed to be over in 2 months.

Speaking of which, the L just answered back and the assistant sent another email asking why they've not set a date. The court dates are getting sucked up, and now much of May is out of play. So either it happens like, in the next 2 weeks or we're in June? I thought the L's were the ones dragging this out.

I will be sad to see everything go. I will be sad to have to sell an art piece that could literally be both our retirements in 20 years. It's all just stuff, but it's brought me a lot of joy.

Thanks for the pep talk, the people here have been much better than my friends, who are at a loss for words.