WAW is angry and filing divorce

[SH_]

Update

It has now been 3 days of a WAW being civil and in some instances, almost nice in sparse interactions. Hopefully this calm can maintain until the separation in a week and a half. She is noticeably very tired and has made many comments about how tired and stressed she is feeling.

Last night we had a discussion to sort through details for the finances so the L can write up some paperwork. It went surprisingly smooth with just one moment where she started to go off the rails. I was able to set a boundary at that moment, and she promptly backed up and respected it from there.

The calm feels so peaceful at the moment that I am actually able to breath with some normalcy.

I have read some archived threads on these forums form WAW's that really hit home with me and have for the first time provided some perspective for me in my sitch. It helped me understand where the anger may be coming from, and in a weird way helped me this morning take very little stock in a reaction she had towards me that was angry.

The flip side of the perspective is that I feel a little down about the short comings that I have demonstrated for far too long and know that I must make some serious changes. These are around codependency and low self esteem. Two of my long standing battles. Both probable or better stated likely reasons for my sitch. And my sitch has added too these challenges further. Self esteem at an all time low and fear of being alone is very real at the moment. Basically this is what rock bottom is feeling like, and I need to stand up from here.

My plans are to continue to meet with IC, DB coach, and church leader for guidance, healing, and plans of action. I need to research some CBT as well I believe.

Another big obstacle is to overcome some of my social anxiety and build a social network for support, service and peace of mind.

Any other ideas from those of you on here that provide support would be welcome. I see my issues and realize that my management of these issues in my life and MR have led to my current sitch, and now I am desperate to manage these in a more healthy way so I can be a better father, future husband and man.

Thank you for listening.