Hi Cherry, I agree about the L advice, but wouldn't you ask him to move out if he wants you guys to S?

Also, if he tells you he wants you to D, you can just let him know that D isn't your choice, but if that is what he wants you respect his decision and won't stand in his way. Then step back and let him do every scrap of work.

For me, I helped my H out (and tried to minimise hurt for me) by giving him some suggested reasons to D me on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. But part of me wishes I had just said to him - well, I guess if you feel I have behaved unreasonably, you'll D me on those grounds - and left him to it.

Whatever you do at this point, don't beg, plead or say why can't we work on it. If he's in a wayward frame of mind, it is going to be better for him to actually think he has gone too far and risks completely losing you.

JMHO of course and hopefully others will chime in. Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus