Ghostbusting This

[ATPeace]

Okay, thanks for being honest and saying that you do not plan to leave your house. For me, I won't take up time trying to convince you to get away from that environment, and we can try to help you develop some type of plan for staying in the home.

I have another question I hope you will answer. Will you consider seeking a therapist for just your individual problems (co-dependency, low self-esteem, hoarding thoughts, etc.), and not get a marriage counselor? The counselor you have seen a few times is not doing anything for you and even prevented you seeing someone about cognitive therapy. So, will you just check around, do a little research and consider someone else? Oh, and do not say anything to this counselor about it. If you find a therapist, just stop going to this MC.

Next, will you make the effort to get a monthly calendar and start filling in some dates with various things to do to GAL? Look in the newspaper to see what is happening around town and maybe it's something you would want to see. You REALLY need to get out and get involved in something just for you. Personally, I don't think you need to be taking women to bars at this time, but that JMHO.

GAL is therapy. And, it is much needed in your case. It improves your mood, lifts your spirit, and helps with the self-esteem. And something else I believe helps people when they are going through a situation like yours, and that is to reach out and help someone else. Perhaps you have elderly or disabled neighbors that could use someone to do minor tasks for them. Maybe your area has a soup kitchen for the homeless. There are usually various volunteer programs for a majority of things. You may not be interested right now, but once you start giving back to those less fortunate......you come away feeling blessed. I don't know what may be available in your area or what would be something you would do. Just look around. When we really open our eyes to see others needs, we usually don't have to look far.

Before you can feel strong enough to do anything about the situation at home, you need to go to work on the one person that is holding you back. That being, YOU.

Will you put forth a genuine effort to start doing things for Ghost? You are lonely and feel unloved. So, get out of that house and start GAL. Make yourself get out there. Find a therapist to help your thinking and co-dependency. And look for a way to give back.

Sandi

I will do the things you suggested thank you

Thank everyone else for suggestions I do realise only I can get self out of this

For me it is a balance see my kids every day and have a small part of my wife and the life that I had

I will move forward when I am ready

For now I will not post for a while

Thank you

Ghost