Hi lovely P - I'm glad for you that you are talking to your IC again, and a career coach too. Interesting views from your IC about dating. I can see his point that exploring other things may be a good idea. But I also think it is best to do that from a place of wholeness within yourself - and it sounds as though that is where you are focusing, which is good

I hear what you are saying about feeling 'less than' because your H had a PA with OW. I'm in the same boat of course and recently I have been saying to myself that H's choice to go off and have an A with someone in no way diminishes me. I am still all that I am whatever he may be doing and I think those destructive choices are all about him.

From what you post, you are still working through the pain and that takes it's own time. But you are moving forward and I like in you your zest for life, and that you get back up when you are low and you move forward again. These are great qualities that will carry you a long way forward - whatever your H is up to.

I'm sorry you saw the pic of H and OW....so maybe still some kind of contact going on there - all cheaters lie of course. But in the longer term, my guess is that R is doomed. The whole - we live on different continents and both have kids thing for a start. Still, it will take the time it will and she is his problem and need not be your concern.

For you, I hope you enjoy dressing up, feeling attractive, having some fun, charming people with your lovely accent and more. I know there is hard work in amongst all of that, but also carve out some time for you in there.

Sounds like your XH has withdrawn somewhat. He may not be able to deal with the emotional aspects of being in touch and is processing. But maybe just note that and carry on with your own stuff. What he does needn't impact on you and my guess is he will come forward again at some point soon. What you choose to offer him at that point is up to you of course.

In the meantime - as tfish said - good for you girl!! Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus