The boundaries that my IC advised me on are he boundaries of the personal insults and accusations. I will set these around the first time I may validate her feelings, the second time I will let her know that it is not acceptable to do it and the third time, I will let her know that the conversation will have to continue at a later point once she can cool down and come back to the table and stay focused on the facts and truths that we need to discuss. I will basically explain this ahead of time so that she understands the boundaries and can then decide to play nice, or the conversation will need to be tabled until she can.
I am also to share these strategies with my D17 so she can avoid the angry accusations when speaking with her mother.
On a side note, 2 days in a row with a pleasant WAW under the same roof. Not a kind loving person, but no sign of the angry person that came home all last week.
A sad moment yesterday. I arrived home and WAW was going through boxes of photos and family items sorting through. My D5 came over and rummaged through and found our wedding photo. She picked it up and said "This is when mommy loved daddy, but now she doesn't anymore." My heart broke off another piece at this. My D17 then asked, what did you say? And I looked at the WAW and saw zero emotion in her face and then I replied before D5 could, "Nothing sweetheart, it was nothing."
Still wondering at how this came on so fast......
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
