On Monday, I felt down like I hadn't in at least six months. It could have to do with the fact that I spent some five minutes with STBX and the kids in front of my apartment the evening before (she was bringing them back after a special dinner with their visiting grandpa). It felt a bit like a family again, the four of us; a little weird but not bad. But the following morning, I was back in a post-BD state. I couldn't be bothered with work, couldn't even read the news and a whole set of feelings and behaviors that I had at the time. I went back to bd after dropping the kids at school and an hour later, I received an email from her about the lawyer's appointment. It will be our first of only two meetings, the one where we bring our papers and present the situation.
Then at midnight, she sent an email asking if I wanted to meet for a coffee before the lawyer's appointment. I was nervous because I thought she might want to tell me she'd spend a few weeks or months in her home country, given that she recently lost her job and her father is getting a serious operation. I agreed to meet, for the first time in over a year. Curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to get it over with. Also, I'm not as emotional as I used to be.
Turns out that she wanted to tell me that her parents bought her a condo (I told you they're well off) around here. She was somewhat worried it would get split in the D (it won't). It was good news for me because it means she has more roots here. She did say however that she intends to go back to her home region eventually. Her new condo is still a few minutes away from my apartment and near enough the school (12 minutes walk). She has a decorator redoing the place before moving in next month. Nice for someone who just lost her job... Oh and when talking about D4, she mentioned that she had no intention whatsoever of having another child. It's a possibility, given that OM is 30.
So after that meeting, I was suddenly feeling good. I guess it goes to show that my focus is on me (and the kids) and that I don't want to R one bit. These were good news for me (less threat of a move abroad) and a confirmation that her couple is serious (moving together again). This being said, a D and shared custody are big failures that still make me sad.
The meting with the lawyer is tomorrow afternoon.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
