My gut tells me he is not having an A. I have considered snooping, but since an A would not be a deal breaker for me at this point, as I would see it as a symptom of the current crappy state of our R, I guess the best thing for me to do would be to leave it and try not to obsess over it.
The obsessing part is the hardest part for me.I have been a worrier my entire life....about everything. I am a second guesser, I am indecisive, I am overly sensitive to remarks. It is something I have always had to struggle to overcome, and this situation just sends it into overdrive. I am trying so hard to get a handle on it, but 40 years of worry wart is hard to get under control easily. Lol
My DB coach has asked three or four times if I thought H was having an A. Each time I told her I really do not feel he is. I feel like she thinks he might be, but she has not offered any advice on this either way.
I think the biggest thing is that I just do not want to feel stupid for not seeing something that has maybe been right in my face the whole time. As with everyone I am sure, I feel like I know H inside and out and that I would know without a doubt if he was having an A or not...but I have to keep reminding myself that he is not the man I married anymore and all bets are off on anything.
