I would say that the "Act as if" strategy is how you approach situations and conversations. If you act as if the best case scenario is going to happen, then even if it does not, you acted accordingly. I believe the thought is that if you go into any situation thinking the other person will act in the worse case scenario we often act that way leading to the self fulfilling prophecy so to speak.
Quote:
The "issue" for me is she does the bare minimum in the house and with the kids.
For this when you speak to her, don't act as if she will do the bare minimum, speak to her as if you know she will do everything that you both agree too. She may still only do the bare minimum, but it will not be because of how you approach the situation. And you may have some positive influence and she may do slightly more than the bare minimum, which in the end is a win.
Remember, Act as if the best will happen, but have no expectations and then you proceed forward and do what you know needs to be done. In your situation, you can do what you know is best for your kids, and when you are doing your best, acting as if she will also, but you have no expectations, then you will be a better father, man and person.
This is just my thoughts on the matter, and working on doing this as well. Practice, practice, practice and then you will just do it out of habit.
Good luck and remember to identify the wins in all that you do.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
