I disagree with Tim about detaching, but use his description to fake it until you make it.

Detaching is about reaching a point where her actions don't affect you or impact on either your mood or behavior. There are many great descriptions of it on this forum.It is complex and very difficult to achieve, hence the need to fake it being important.

Good luck

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together