WAW is angry and filing divorce

[Vanilla]

When I first arrived here I blamed myself for all the troubles of my R. I had no boundaries and was a complete doormat.

Then I went through a phase where I was so upset and distressed when WH raged at me I raged back, I called that my screaming banshee phase, as I result my embarrassment and guilt resulted in insults and contempt were daily feelings I absorbed. I felt I deserved it.

I even stated contempt wasn't a boundary issue for me.

My best resource on boundaries is Al Turtle who writes and explains boundaries for young adults, his way of discussing boundaries really helped me. I found that my boundaries were non existent in many areas of my life leading to absorbing others dramas and giving away my personal power. Life is different now.

It wasn't just WH but all areas of my life. I am sad about it although I am growing well. It is learning.

As I set my boundaries others around me began to react and push back. As you set boundaries be prepared for that push back. My life is easier now although two or three people in my life have pressed back too hard. I have lost drama and a couple of people in my life who had to go.

It is fine now though and I have really benefited from setting boundaries.

Of course one of the losses was WH and that still distresses me although ultimately I think this was going to happen, with boundaries this happened sooner.

It is taking a while but things are much better.

So sadhub, what are the boundaries you need to set?

V