I started school last week and will apply for my nursing program in the fall. I should be doing homework, but felt the need to get back on here and see how some people are doing. I'm still stalking but also because putting my thoughts out here helps me keep a level head.
I think I've been stirring up drama lately - unintentionally in the moment, but looking at it objectively it's a cry for attention. I felt like WAH has just been "nice" to me to keep me from asking for alimony...
Let me explain: he tells me that he wants to get me back on my feet, and him back on his feet. He's paying 100% of the bills, and giving me CS with no complaints. We talk here and there, nothing too serious. We're still friendly, we crack jokes...all is good...UNTIL, this little seed that has been planted in my head gets watered. This little seed that says WAKE THE HECK UP! He's nicer to me now, he is more understanding now and he was never this way when we were married. He's being nice to shut you up. He's being nice to avoid having to hand over his family jewels in a paper bag. A weathered paper bag, since I'm sure the D would be more troublesome for him than me.
So where I stand right now:
Start over with him and build a relationship (his words) and work together to get us out of debt with a clean break, and he will continue paying for things until I can take them over...
OR
Get alimony. Cut ties. Only talk about the kid and call it a day.
I'm telling you, the latter looks very very appealing.
The latter also keeps us away from reaching these post divorce goals, it also means he'll put up a fight too...which, he doesn't have 2 legs to stand on anyways, so it would be futile...but, I just don't know what to do. I don't know what feels right. Nothing in my life feels right, right now.
but also because putting my thoughts out here helps me keep a level head.