Your post gives me a lot to think about. You are right, I need to detach and let go of expectations, I am struggling with not having expectations from doing these exercises.
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
This makes sense to him, he has reasons no matter how out of the box they seem to you.
This comment was very thought provoking! I see what you're saying, that H has his reasons. I suppose what I'm really saying is that whatever his reasons, the fact that he (to me) has acted so selfishly the last 5 months with total disregard to what it is doing to the children, makes me see him in a different light. He's not the man I thought he was. I can't think of anything in the world bad enough to leave my children over. I know...I'm not him.
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
It can be and I think it would be helpful for you to know if this is the case for you.
This is keeping me awake at night at the moment. Until we started doing the exercises in this book I had been feeling so much better. I was getting on great without him and starting to think that, yes, I can do this. I'm seriously worried my feelings have gone for H because of all the pain he has caused me (and the children) with this event and all the others over the years. I don't know how to determine if it is normal to feel like this at the beginning of a possible reconciliation or if I have truly lost my feelings for him. My worry is the children being hurt further by another BD.
