atesja

[mutatio]

Dday, my friend, how are you and the boys? Start work on the new house?

You'll never guess what I did Saturday. I fractured a bone in my forearm at the elbow. I was tired but wanted to finish the job and I tripped stepping over something. I have an appointment with an orthopedist tomorrow morning. I have so much work to do around the house and now I won't catch up till Memorial Day. At least it was my left arm.

I am in a calm place with my wife and my marriage. I am thankful for each day with her and the kids. I have no expectations. Day by day is all I can do. Thank you for your support. There's not many of us left from last summer, they've all moved on. Please come visit when ever you have time.

My son asked me for one of the "old" cars I have in the garage. I said sure if he helped me finish putting up the ceiling in the garage first. I was figuring the '65 Impala. I found out an interesting fact about the '65. It has the exact same wheelbase as a 2006 and later Ford Expedition. The width of the Expedition is 1" wider, so only 1/2" at each wheel. That came be compensated for with offset rims. The Expedition has 4 wheel independent suspension and four wheel disc brakes. I could pick up a rolling chassis at a junk yard cheap. I could even get one with 4 wheel drive. Put a 4bt cummins, 5 speed manual trans, manual transfer case and have a 4 wheel drive diesel Impala that gets an easy 25 miles to the gallon. It could turn out so well I'll have to give him the '70 Chevelle instead.

I have truly forgiven myself, I am doing well but I miss you Dday.

[roist]

Hope that your arm is OK.

I am glad you have forgiven yourself.

[dday]

Mu! Sorry about the arm. At least you should be back in action by summer. I love the ideas about the Impala. I think the Cummins in it would be a head turner, and practical too. The Expedition chassis is a unique idea. I hadn't heard that one before.

Mu, my favorite muscle car is the 70 Chevelle. Always has been. Are you going to restore it with your son, or is it already done?

I miss talking to you too. Boys and I are dealing. Trying to do the best we can. Baseball is starting, so I will get to see them a lot of "her" nights too. I miss the minions when I don't have them. My boys are different than before this happened. I wish I could have avoided it. I've done what I could, so I am making peace with that. No house yet... not sure that I want to live in this small town now, so I will rent a bit longer.

I'm still here Mu. Maybe I'll start a thread again... just because.

Good luck with the doctors!

[Vanilla]

Ouch on the arm. OUCH, OUCH, OUCH.

Mu I am still here beavering away on becoming a new improved V.

Sadly I know very little about cars, but if I was there I could help with the ceiling.

V

[mutatio]

I like you just the way you are V. I went to the doctors yesterday and after looking at the x-ray he said I have a fracture in the wrist and in the elbow. My wife exhibited concern in my situation. It's nice but does not mean more then simple concern.

Start a thread Dday, you don't have to post a lot. You have a lot of insights we could use.

The pain of 2 fractures pales in comparison to the pain of a broken heart. I will take this pain over a broken heart any day of the week.

[roist]

Concern regardless how deep beats indifference.

[mutatio]

Roiste, I agree with you. A year ago she told me she was indifferent to me and there was nothing left of our marriage except the legalities. She has in the last month changed ever so slightly. Every 3-5 days she will now have something to say to me. Household or kid subjects that she would not say a word about 1 year ago. It lasts for a minute or two and then she's done. It means she is a little more relaxed at keeping me at arms length. It signifies nothing by itself but this is the first step for anything more to happen. I am not getting my hopes up and will not pursue. So I have a change that means nothing but is in the right direction. We'll see.

[ciluzen]

So sorry about the arm, M! Not a fun thing to deal with.

Change is a good sign in your wife...it means she is changing something in her thought process. Concern and communication does trump indifference. Her feelings are evolving. I like your attitude about it, though. Not to get your hopes up or change your path in DBing right now. Wait and see...wait and see. Patience and calm are your greatest assets, it seems, on this journey. You are well equipped in that area.

I always see signs and symbolism in life. Your broken wing seems to be showing that if something is broken, it doesn't break your life...as much as it hurts. You just have to work around it, be a little more flexible and creative, take things a little slower, ask for help when necessary, and understand that the pain will go away on its own time. Be patient and understand that it will heal in its own way (with proper care) eventually. Isn't it true that a healed break is stronger than the bone was originally?

Have patience and take care, M. Be well.

[mutatio]

Thank you ciluzen for your kindness. I believe your right about mended bones being stronger at the break. It will be interesting to see if she continues of talk to me after my injuries stabilize and heal. I hope it does, it would be the first sign of her not pulling away since this started 16 months ago. I don't count her talking to me now as much of a indicator because it could be the natural reaction to an injured person. If she continues with the 3 minute conversations after I am healed, that will be a good sign.

I've read here that sometimes when a LBS DB's successfully and is pulling away the WAS notices and wakes up. Is it possible that my injury caused my wife to notice feelings for me other then the anger and resentment she currently harbors? I will take this opportunity to validate her feelings and model compassionate behavior. What do you think? opportunity? grasping at smoke?

[roist]

Every time she opens her mouth to you is an opportunity. Thread carefully and keep expectations low.

Don't mind read her.

Keep looking foe those positives and you will find them.