Life's a Dance-One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

[melweb]

Thanks so much HW and mleigh for the insight.

Oooohhh my elusive boundaries. What are they? Where are they? Come out, come out wherever you are.

Honestly not sure I have any, as pathetic as that sounds. I have some 'personal' boundaries: I will not watch him text "whomever" right in front of me, so I walk away. I will not go into his room if the door is closed, and because of his constant back and forth, no more sex until he can truly, honestly commit to M and prove his A is over. I know, I know--those are lame

At the moment, my biggest struggle is this A happening right under my nose. I cannot kick him out because of financial reasons. Nor do I want to kick him out--I want him to have to make that painful decision of walking away.

HW--good points on the controlled separation. How would I monitor it? And if a separation is for "space," then I def do not want to be his mommy.

mleigh--I really do want to be his "friend," the lighthouse, but I have those fears that it will be too emotionally draining/damaging to me. And what if he starts dating? I just don't know right now, which is why I keep telling him "I cannot guarantee that we will be friends."

He keeps saying he doesn't want a D, but needs space. That maybe he will miss me and realize in 6-8 months that he cannot love without me. True or blowing smoke up my a$$ so that he can continue A? IDK

I don't feel like I am handling things very well at all, but thanks