CRW your story above is very confusing so I'm not sure what you're looking for. If I understand it correctly, your wife wants to do taxes tonight and asked you to bring over paperwork, and you have plans and don't have time to bring it over -- is that correct?

Here is what I would do: I would tell her that you didn't plan on having everything prepared tonight and you have plans to go out, so you don't have time to pull everything together and bring it over, but you will be able to bring it to her by [pick a date].

If she doesn't like that and let's you know it, validate her feelings (I understand this is frustrating for you because you want to get it done tonight etc. etc.) and then perhaps propose a compromise -- i.e. "I will pull the paperwork together and leave it on the front table of my house, the front door key will be under the mat. Feel free to come by and get it while I'm out, just please lock up and return the key when you leave, or you can wait and I will bring it over by [pick a date]"

Do not cancel your plans.

That's what I would do.

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015