MLC Divorce and Cancer Continued

[mleigh4]

I have had some parenting difficulties with my H as well. If my son doesn't jump to do as S says, it's all my fault. At first, I was accused of badmouthing H, (never did), then accused of coddling S to a point that he hated being with H, now accused of raising a lazy long haired hippy who has a mom doing everything for him. It's all nonsense and self projection from his own guilt and issues.

I used to defend myself, fight back. It only seemed to cause things to escalate. I finally scheduled a parenting session with a counselor, which H was a no show. Her advice to me was, we live 2 separate lives with 2 separate homes, neither of us have the right to dictate how the other lives.

Your older boys are grown adults, they are making their own choices, you can't control that. I would keep my responses short and sweet..."sorry you feel that way", "your R with them is up to you, I am not standing in the way" or even questions like, "exactly what is it you want me to do?" Or, "where is this anger coming from?" That tends to shut my H up pretty quick.

Bottom line, keep contact with him short and brief, to the point and factual. He can ramble on all he wants. It's not worth your time.

BTW, I am very happy to hear you are feeling better, with the treatments and all. Good luck in finding yourself some work.