Today I set myself some new goals, the ups and downs are particularity rough, yesterday was probably one of my worse as I'm starting to slowly come to the terms that I can't control what my W is doing, only what I can do. I had been doing everything wrong for 6 months, gifts, succumbing to her demands and requests... if only you guys knew of the mistakes I've made in the last 6 months (too painful to bring some of them up here).
So here are my goals:
Perform at work Be the best Dad possible for D Take care of the house - (Clean/projects etc.) Exercise daily Pray daily Meet friends 1x a week Resist temptation to talk to W Avoid snooping and watching
It's not easy and already I've probably failed at 2 of them today. But need to persist and thrive!
I believe the biggest struggle I still have (and have received conflicting advice both on this board and externally) is how much to detach vs. being present to her when she reaches out. In the lighthouse story it says to "be the light" and my Pastor says to let her "see Jesus" through me, if I detach completely and go dark - the light won't shine and she won't see Jesus. I definitely agree though that I can't be a doormat no longer and need to setup some boundaries and have around any type of "family" events.
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
