Hi KML, I am 44, he will be 50 next month. We have D14 and D10 and I have two stepsons from his first marriage, S23, S20. S20 lives with us and I am the mother figure for him. He has no contact with bio mom. I don't feel like I am being a doormat. Right now I am living as if everything is normal. I feel like calling her on his cell is somewhat of him testing me..he knows I check phone records so I am acting as if I don't. We will be married 16 yrs in July. I am making a choice to not engage him at this point. I don't want to argue...happened last week and D14 heard everything. I refuse to put my children through that. I have gone dark...well dim. I am not initiating kisses hello and goodbye...he is. I usually say "Love you" but today he did it first in "his way"...telling all of us he loved us before he left for work. I can't try to rationalize his mind...I think this really has to do with turning 50, 40 was bad...we separated, he lost 3 jobs, didn't see the kids, tanned, dyed his hair...crazy. He knows full well how lucky we were to reconcile and I am not sure if that is in his head now...I hope so
