GAL for today: Mint leaves for my caterpillar (i know how weird this sounds but I am waiting for it to pupate and turn into a butterfly. Kid will be thrilled)
Fold and iron the darn laundry
Clean the darn house.
GAL for tomorrow: Practise my ice skating
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I completely get where you come from on the being charming and flirting front. I feel everyone else sees me as this shining bubbly strong woman. But h prefers to see me as some fictitious monster he's created in his head. And seeing him right now puts me in a place I feel angry and I don't want to be this bright breezy person.
He dropped the I love you just as the mother of my child bomb again. So now I feel I'm not in that place where I'm looking happy and content
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Kid tells me that she had nightmares about xh forgetting her. I reassured her and tell her that I will always be there for her. I couldnt Promise her that daddy would always want to see her so often. In fact, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
What will be will be. And I will stick to my guns.
And now the biggest issue hanging over my head is the housing sitch. To buy or not to buy. I have considered moving somewhere further away but considering the fact that kid and I get tired out by long commutes, I am just so stuck. I am so hesitant about wiping ou my retirement funds. I could downsize and move to the surburbs when kid is older but I am worried that I would make a loss.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I love your new home here! My papers have been filed, although I have not been served yet, but I am hoping in 90 days I can move over here with the cool kids too!
Moving is one of the best things I did for me and the kids. Move somewhere where you will have much less stress. A long commute can be stressful. or relaxing...
Every decision should be what will make you the happiest? His opinion should have zero bearing on your decisions. But you got this! You are amazing hun.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
I agree with mona- you are amazing! I love how feisty and strong you are- and see you and kid as an inspiration for how me and baby need to be.
At least no matter what, you know your child has a sensible level headed RELIABLE parent. And when she's older, my God will she have big respect for her momma!
I also agree on what is going to make you the happiest. I'm always for buying over renting. It's YOURS then, put your stamp on it. Make a new home, a safe haven for you and the little one
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Thanks Mona and Cherry! You two are the true heroines in my book.
I have decided on a place tonight and I just had a feeling I would get it. Funny how I managed to db my way through the bargaining process.
I took my time, I knew what was the max I coukd offer and I refused to be rushed into the decision. It is still more expensive than what I would like to pay for it but I figured I could use the money saved on rent for it.
I feel so excited. One issue down.
On another note. Things are getting curiouser and curiouser.
Kid freaked out yesterday from some horror stories her classmates told her. As in total freaked out. She almost caused an accident when she tried to get out of her car seat and get into the front passenger seat. And then at night, she was still hysterical and kept both of us awake till 4am. Needless to say, I kept her at home today and also had to take time off work.
Xh picked her up today. And called me after I texted to ask how kid was. He was so civil and sounded like how he was before bd and D. I had initially thought it was my mum cuz it was a private number.
Earlier in the night, I had a missed call from a private number as well. I think it was prob from xh.
My jaw almost dropped when I realised that it was xh. And it dropped again when he took back the phone again after kid spoke to me.
Curiouser and curiouser. But life goes on. And you never know which way the rabbit hole will lead to.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Hmm what is his game? He obvs wants to keep you close.
Great news on the house! When's the housewarming?
I wouldn't be surprised if kid is finding this tough. All toddler wants to do is be near me. Hugging and kissing all the time. Senses that mamma is upset no matter how much I try to be brave
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Cherry, I think he's wants to make sure that I am around as plan b. Just in case things don't work out with TP. Either that or he feels guilty and thinks that the fact I am civil to him will show the rest of the world that hey, I am totally fine with he and TP breaking up our family.
Who knows the warped logic of the ex?
I am starting to get excited over the house. I am thinking of going the uncluttered route of the scandinavian designs. I love how bright the houses look.
I will be in debt for a very long time but I just got a raise and I figured that I will get by.
There is this bible app on my phone that throws out random verses of the day. Recently, when I was stressing over the housing sitch, I saw the verse, "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want."
How comforting!
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
