my wife is a waw! trying everything to save it!

[ItHurts]

Hi there...just some advice for you from a guy who was with my WAW much, much longer than you when she left...18 years.

My WAW actually told me last year (yes, she still initiates sporadic contact with me, usually when life events happen to me) that she dreams of me a lot. She said we don't speak to each other in her dreams but that I am always there in the background smiling at her. She also said she falls down in her dreams and someone picks her up from behind. She said she never gets a look at who it was behind her but she somehow knows it's me.

However don't read into the dream...she's setting you up to be her emotional support even though she still wants to leave you. She can't have only the parts of you she wants because you are a package deal...all of you or none of you.
Focus on yourself as hard as that may seem. Trust me, I was where you are two years ago. It does get better, just like people told me it would when it was all new to me and seemed improbable.
I guess my best advice from my experience is to let HER being up staying together or not...you mustn't try to "save" anything right now except yourself. Once you do that, your WAW won't control your heart anymore...and you will feel that liberating power eventually and you will see yourself as a man only a very foolish woman would leave.
Trust me...if there's one thing I learned, the WAW is never gone for long LOL. She'll contact you somehow, find some reason, any reason, once you initiate no contact (once you are at a point to physically be able to do that.) I'm two years on now and initiated contact with my WAW maybe twice...she's contacted me, however, no less than 15 times. So use that as motivation to better yourself and regain power. I can't tell you how satisfying it is to know I don't care if I don't talk to WAW for 6 months... because anything short of her wanting to talk about reconciling is of no interest to me. It's empowering to lose that "need" for WAW and it helps you immensely in leading a healthy life emotionally. At least this is my experience. Feel free to read my posts from two years ago when my bomb was dropped. It seems like a lifetime ago now and time goes by fast. I remember the darkness and desperation I felt. The intense heartache...and now I look back at that time in the same way one would when reflecting on a past bad illness or something... that you're sure glad you don't feel like that anymore.
So keep your chin up friend, everything will be alright for you just like it is for me. You'll still miss WAW and maybe even still want WAW...I still want mine...I just realized over time that I don't "need" her and that right there is what focusing on yourself now will lead to.
All the best to you!