I am content, that is a blessing.......

[mleigh4]

Hi Bright. Thank you for sharing that post from HB. I get what she says, in a way. It's hard to explain, but it's like H and I are in similar places in that we are both confused, unsure, cautious and standoffish, yet friendly and kind. Of course, I say this based on how he explained his feelings when he moved out. Not sure what is going on in his noggin, he stays quiet about his feelings, but going off his actions. I get the feeling we both are working on our own issues and fully aware we are not in a place to be together, yet, can't fully let go either. It's like a mutual acceptance of sorts. Or....maybe it's just me fully accepting this, where he has been all along.....

So yesterday, I had the bright idea to do something special for H bday, but then, I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was feeling a little forced, so I kept my plans of a gorgeous walk and yummy lunch with friend.

I let H know he was welcome to keep S later than normal since he was going away and would miss his days. He appreciated that and brought S home about 6. He brought his coffee gadget and made us some coffee. He just insists I get one! Lol. He went to put his cup in the dishwasher and the door fell open. He asked, didn't this have a spring in it? I said yes, it broke a while ago, some things in the house are falling apart (with a sad face) He asked, like what? I mentioned a few and off he went. He unplugged my bathroom sink, said to grab a ladder to fix a light....after, he said he had to go to do laundry and pack. We gave him hugs, yes, me too, and wished him a good flight. I felt a little bad for not having his meal after all....but....just didn't feel right to me.

S and I slept in and enjoyed a lazy day today! He even passed on hanging out with a buddy to hang with his old mom! I cherish these days. I had a guy come out and trim some overgrown trees in the back. In fact, I got through half of my "to do" list AND squeezed in a short nap!

H let us know when he made it safe to Milwaukee, sent a pic of his view from his room, a parking lot. I thanked him for letting us know he arrived safe and sound. He messaged again later to say good night and let S know he had a busy day tomorrow but he would do his best to do some face time with him.

We will be sending H a Happy Birthday message in the morning.