Sparkling none the wiser

[TimR]

I hope your feelings stay the same for awhile too, Sprakls. You really do need a break from the grief you have been living. It is funny that you mention about not being able to think of what was so great about him that you were fighting for. This is the same thing I started focusing on which caused my change of heart. One random day with nothing going on I came home and was preparing dinner. The house was completely silent and the dogs were doing what the dogs do and that is following me from room to room. As I sat to eat I started thinking, wait I am not getting yelled at or demeaned at all. Then started thinking what the last 3 yrs was like... I started thinking especially about the last year, how I was depressed and ashamed my WW would never sleep with me, how when she came home I would remain quiet until I could gage what her mood was, how I cringed when she was in a bad mood which she often was. That thought quickly lead to is that what I want to go back to?? The answer of course was no.

I cannot say my sitch is the same as yours but I think you may be realizing you are not giving up because you do not want to 'lose.' I think I was a little that way too. Whatever you are doing though keep doing it. You DO deserve happiness and if he is a fool not to give it to you, someone will!