Sparkling none the wiser

[Sparkls]

Thanks all.
I had a dream last night where he called OW "My girl" and I punched him in the face and broke his nose :-p good times.

Today, I took my pups for a 2.5hr long walk and at the end am very "f*ck him. I deserve so much better than this." f
It's an up on the rollercoaster. I can't even remember what makes him so great that I would go through this to be with him. I'm fighting because of my sense of commitment not because he was so amazing, but he was mine. And given that he's clearly chosen OW, I don't know why I'm fighting for someone who won't fight for me.

I'm sure it'll change. Him getting his things is going to suck but its gotta be done. He can be pissy if he wants. My life doesn't revolve around his scheduled departure. It's very squarely a him problem.

I hope this feeling lasts for a while. Its so much better than the grief.