Roiste, thanks for your thoughtful words. The support on this site is wonderful.
I first posted in November 2014 (First BD was July 2014). I stopped posting (although continued DBing) because at the time I didn't really understand how to utilize this site for the great support that is offered. This time around (second BD last week) I finally realize how the wonderful people on this site stick together and offer great support.
Basically, from July 2014 to March 2016 I employed all the DBing techniques. My H, without actually saying the words, honestly led me to believe we were in piecing. He seemed genuinely happy again, planning trips and future projects with me. Although not perfect, things seemed to be on a good path.
The last month or so he started acting really depressed and grumpy. And finally last week I got the second BD.
He says nothing actually got better in the last year and a half, that it was all an act on his part to make me happy, and he just can't do it anymore.
Right now I feel like all he is thinking about is that he feels trapped, because financially we cannot currently afford two households and to get to that point is going to take some serious work and re-arranging. And up to now (one of my complaints about our marriage) he has always left all bill paying and finances up to me and would never get involved even when I asked (I am not great with money). So he does not even have the tools available to him to get a start on it...and I have not offered (in the spirit of not helping with him leaving).
I know we have past unresolved issues from my A,which he holds onto, but he said himself that a few years back he actually got past it and it only occasionally even popped into his mind. I feel that maybe the onset of MLC has triggered those emotions again (so double whammy of A and MLC).
