I know it is wrong, but I just want to ask her why she hasn't filed yet. From what I read on other threads, I ask myself, "what's in it for her not to file". I feel like right now she is living the single life and doing what she wants, when she wants but has me there to pay her bills (car, cell, ins. etc) and she knows once we D, she will have to pay those. I The kids had there first overnight and all she did was send them to her bedroom and had them watch movies and TV while she played her video games. It was their first visit so I thought she would want to make sure they had a great time...nope. Even the kids make comments about how she plays this stupid game all the time. She just ignores them and thinks just because they are with her that is being a mom.
Another thing is safety. Yes it is legal in this state for one of our kids to not have anything and the other to ride in a booster seat, but JUST barely. I want to tell her that the kids need to be in car seats, Period. I am sure this will be viewed as controlling, but really? Why wouldn't you want to do everything you can to keep your kids safe? I am trying to think of a boundary for this, but don't really think I can impose any form of consequence.
At this point, we really don't interact but one or two texts a day about kids, which she initiates. I haven't seen the anger or vindictiveness, no ILYBNILWY, no I was never in love from her. I sometimes wonder if she is 51% WAW and 49% WW and if I should be doing things different. Sometimes I feel like I am not experimenting to see what works and what doesn't, because I am not really doing much of anything. I am following advice of the path of inaction. I am really just going dark, GAL'ing, my 180's I think are lacking and I need to revisit those.
I discussed with my IC the fact that she said I wasn't acting like I wanted to work on the M. IC asked me what I could do to show her that I do want to work on the M. And recommended trying some experiments to see what works and what doesn't. I am not really sure what I could do that wouldn't be pursuing. IC advised to linger for just a bit during interactions, to ask about her day, how she was doing etc. She again recommended that I see if she will do things with the kids and I to reminder her that we can be happy together (already mentioned this before and it was deemed as cake eating, I agree)
Should I be starting convo's and doing this? I am not cold or short with her when we interact, but I don't start conversations and really just do what needs to be done and leave. Any advice on if I should linger for just a bit and chat? If I should be starting non-R related convo's when I see her? She fired me so should I care about her day?
