Drop the Rope - Part VI

[Zephyr]

Back home safe and sound.

Had a very good trip. Drive home was long, but we managed alright.

Had a ton of fun all around. Second 1/2 of trip, Lots of swimming, we Went to the beach, took a long drive to sanibel and captiva islands and did some shelling, went to the sea shell museum (a bit pricey for my liking), went to a new brewery, a rum distillery, and did some much needed relaxing. I know there was more stuf, just running short on time.

No new news on anything relationship.

There was lots of hand holding some sporadic kissing and hugs. In the car, bunch of times, she grabs my hand and puts it on her leg to hold it there, or she will rub my back, neck, head and then my earlobe. Or just rest her hand on my thigh for a bit.

I enjoy these things very much. It was not constant, like cant keep her hands off of me, more like every few hours or so when driving.

Thwre was a little cuddling, not much as it was so humid, more hot and humid than i remeber from years past. She even woke up one morning and rested her head on my chest for a bit.

There wee times where i could tell that she needed space so i just let her be. It is funny, i have been reading up on non verbal communication and being able to recornize cues makes that a little bit easier.

I wish she would be more open still, i cant force that...i can only create an environment she could be.

We are home for a few days here and have a ton to do. We actually leave on friday for a trip to nevada.

Wife has a work conference there and asked me a while back if i wanted to go. We are going in a few days before the conference starts to have a little fun without the children.

I will have my computer for when she is in conferences, i can get some work done.

I look forward to the trip. Having a little trouble having no expectations on a potentially fun trip like this...keeping those to a minimum at least.

Kids soccer starts up this week, added extra convolution to the evening schedules and weekend plans...only 2+ months than we are in summertime

Thanks for reading up. I will have more time to catch up with everyone next week!

[roist]

Non verbal comm is on my to study list. As usual you are a bit ahead of me!

I'll drop by later when I get a chance. Enjoy your next trip. Wow what a life you are leading nowadays.

Best wishes

[Zephyr]

Thanks Roiste,

Life is different than it was even a year ago...not sitting around waiting for things to just get better. I feel so much more in touch with who i want to be and what i want / need to do to get there.

We've bounced this back and forth between us, i know. I just FEEL so much more alive, it is kind of exciting.

Jeeze, i am embarassed to think three years ago i would come home from work and go lay down in my bed and pout / cry / mope because she wasnt showing me the attention i wanted.

I will not return to be that pathetic man ever again.

[Vanilla]

Zephyr

Just checking in on you hon.

V

[roist]

You have come a long long way and are still growing.Yoyr R with W has too. There seem to be more fun times and better interactions. There are moments of affection and physical contact. There are more and more invitations from her. And ye are heading away again this weekend just the two of ye. That is all great. I am happy for you.

I am glad you are stronger now and the missing affection, closeness and unmet needs no longer cripples you. That is testament to you. Well done for building this strength of character. And for sure there is no going back.

I guess that ultimately you will have to discus your unmet needs with W. And if after that she cannot you may have to decide to no longer live not fully satisfied. I have those options as eventual actions. I do not believe we should settle for less. But your R seems fairly rich, you rightly should hold off on that road. I'm sorry but I feel frustrated for you to still miss so little but so important parts of a good R.

But in the meantime it is amazing to see all the fun stuff you do alone, together and as a family.If you had not followed your path, all of ye would have missed out on so much. Your family may never acknowledge or even be aware of that effort. So on their behave I congratulate you on your path so far.

Regardless of how much is left to repair your R fully, ye are advancing and as long as you have that, it is great to see movement in the right direction.TTake heart in that.

And seeing as you are using me as an excuse to drink beer, let's raise a glass together this weekend!! Slainté.

[Vanilla]

Keep on with the repairing of you.

I did notice the FOO stuff if you are ready then we can discuss this new shift.

V

[Zephyr]

Roiste and lady V, i want to single you two out here and say a thank you. Without all of your help over these many many months, there is no way i would be sane, unquestionably.

V, i am working at a slow pace on my childhiod. It is difficult to change a perception of how things actually were...i will continue to look at these things and later this month i am going to go to IC to tslk some things through.

Roiste, i appreciate your recognition. I do, it means so much. I am just going to keep moving forward with what i want my lifw to be. The unmet needs conversation is NOT on the table right now.

Maybe i am still naive, but my commitment to keeping the pressure off of my wife for that aspect of marriage has not changed. I have thought about this so many times, but for now...as long as things are kept moving forward and i see effort from her...i will continue on.

So we got to las vegas friday nigh. Some weather delays werent so bad. Went to eat a nice dinner at benihana. We met up with another coupke from chicago thst weve been out with before (she at same conference with wife).

Saturday morning...i ser up a tour for me and wife. Went out to the Mohave desert for a horseback riding tour at red rock canyon...OMG it was spectacular. I wish i could share some pics with you all. It was breathtaking.

We got rain ans snow/hail for a bit...but that would not twmper the absolutely awesome time i had. Wife was beeming when we got back too...thanked me 10 times for setting it up (not exaggerating). I would recommend this to Anyone who visits nevada. The emotions that the views elicit were so varied....just wow.

We went out for dinner, met up with that same couple for a show (human nature) then out for a couple of drinks. Very fun time so far.

Today i am on my own. Plan on doing a lot of relaxing. Brought my laptop, will get somw work done while she is in conferences later on. Too cold for the pool so i plan on taking a walk to just people watch (maybe one of my favorite things to do in vegas....maybe )

Thank you for reading. Will have time later to catch up with you all!

[Vanilla]

My offer stands as an Internet promise

V

[Zephyr]

My offer stands as an Internet promise

V

I wish i could find the b proper words to express how truly grateful i am for your help.

Thank you!!!

[roist]

Thanks for saying thanks. Knowing/feeling W is trying is the key. As long as you have that you're moving forward together.

Enjoy the rest of your trip.