Just found out 3 weeks ago - happy valentines day!

[Stormchaser]

LiM: They work in the same building. There is always going to be some kind of contact. I don't want to get into specifics, but they occasionally have to communicate about similar clients they have. In MC, W said its more difficult now because I have a strict NC with texting him. She said texting him would be easier than having to deal with him F2F. W even said she would show all texts. MC and I disagreed, because if any texts showed ANY hint of flirtatious behavior on his side, I would be pissed and it would cause more issues. Even if she told me he made an advance, she KNOWS I'd start [censored] with him at work. And I know myself to know it would happen.

I do believe more went on. I also believe in all honesty my W is trying to protect me as well as covering her ass. My guess is if she revealed it all, any chance of R would be done and I would blow the doors wide open, as well as me being incredibly hurt. Am I in denial? Maybe. However, I know myself enough to know I really and truly DON'T want to know. The mind movies are bad enough. Odd how you mention BJ's. For some reason, that's always ok.....

I can see the scenario now...if his W ever found out, she may go to great lengths to make things miserable. Put it on the company FB page. This would lead to it getting out to everyone on FB knowing. This would lead to my W and OM getting fired on the spot. Possible lawsuit? W, who took YEARS to build an established client base, would see years of her work down the tubes. Before you say "yeah, tough crap she should've thought of that before", I don't buy that line of thinking. My W is extremely remorseful, immediately stopped the affair and went to great lengths to get us into MC and herself in IC. She WANTS it to work, I have texts of her refusing to give up on us when I said I want a D, and is showing me day after day that she wants us to be a success story.

There was a trigger for me this weekend. Things were great. I went out to get us all dinner. Passed a sex shop and snapped a picture and sent it to the W, joking with the W about "do we need anything else while I'm out". She said, "surprise me". Whoa!?!?! So I got a couple of playful things. We had some wine later that night, went to bed and I broke out the fun things. One was some fuzzy handcuffs. I tried them on her and started fooling around. She was kinda into it, but then stopped, saying it was too soon for anything that kinky...maybe later. That triggered me, thinking, "is this what they were doing and now she's feeling guilty?" We finished but the next day it really bothered me and I felt like bringing it up, but I didn't. Maybe it WAS too soon for that, its only been like 7 weeks. But the mind movies were just so intense yesterday, it took me all day to work through them.

She's been stellar so far, however. We've been talking like crazy. She admits the closeness we have is like nothing before. In MC, W brought up some things that happened last year that I did that were truly awful. I remember them, but blew them off. LiM, I actually told her to "get out of the house" several times last year because of fights we would have, instead of trying to resolve them. Its NOT an excuse for her to run into another guy's arms, but it definitely pushed us into zones of distance that were so estranged, we were basically friends living together. That emotional disconnection on both ends led to her affair. Again, I'm not excusing anything she did, and she also says if she was in the right frame of mind, she would've insisted on MC at the time. But she's also learned WHY she did it, how it came about, and how to deal with this properly in the future. So I'm rest assured in the future, we'll deal with our problems in a rational way.

She mentioned getting a tattoo with my name on it. I thought this was a great idea, but later on I decided against it because in the future, it would only remind me of what happened.

On a side note, when I found out all this happened, I lost close to 25 lbs. At the same time, I started going to the gym 5x a week. I tell ya, the difference between now and then is staggering. I've been tanning, too. Last night I got undressed for bed and the W was like, "WTF....are you wearing fake skin?" She was so turned on by the transformation. I tried not to let it get to my head because I'm not one of those that looks in the mirror - but I do have to admit, I now have a 2 pack. Hopefully a little more by the summer.