Feeling he's in MLC, but in D process

[ciluzen]

Well, ski season is really almost over, lol. Very warm temps for spring break but I might chance the hill midweek. H won't be there due to work, but I will!

I think I just confused him today. Or made him sad or...I don't know.
Sunday is now the day we work on the house and for some reason, he kept saying, "guys really look at the garage" over and over as he worked on the garage. He is and always has been a hard worker so he was really cleaning it. We took two trips to the dump with garage stuff and stuff from our shop. We also went to a ranch store to get supplies to fix up the yard and house. First time in forever that we'd been in the same vehicle. Kind of fun. We laughed a bit about the candy selection and bought some...ate about half of it in the car on the way home.

As he continued to clean the garage, I started the barbecue. Believe it or not, I have very little experience actually using the barbecue...H was always in charge of that. I kept asking him how to do things and told him I needed to be able to learn since he wouldn't be around. He was kind of quiet. I offered him dinner a few times and finally sat down to eat. He was just standing there watching me eat as he was saying goodbye. I asked him if he wanted to take some home and he quietly said no. I made him try some so he took a single bite. Agreed it was good (it was fantastic!). Then he kind of drifted off. He looked sad.

I usually make and offer food if he's here past 6. This is the first time he hasn't taken or shared any. He seemed somewhat reserved and quiet most of the day. I have a lot of boxes packed to clean out our house (I've got a "keep" stack and a "sell or donate" stack in our shop. I kept asking him if he wanted certain things, or if he wanted me to set up things for him (he still has no personal email and a lot of his accounts that I am in charge of now are set up online), mentioned that we needed to discuss what to do with certain items. And again reminded him that it would be nice if he removed his growing pile in the room downstairs before we start showing our house. He just looked sad and kept saying "I understand". I think its starting to feel real to him now.

I'm sure to him it looks like I've moved on and am happy. I have know idea what he's thinking.