I am content, that is a blessing.......

[BrightFuture]

Mleigh, a lot of what you said resonates with me.

Hi everyone, thank you for understanding my struggle. No one, outside of this forum, does. It's a very lonely place to be, I am so thankful to have you guys in my world.

Same here. It is interesting, because even I talk to people who went through D, but in a different way (didn’t stand for their M), then don’t understand why I’m still doing what I’m doing.

There is nothing I want to rush, I am no way ready for any big change or decision, I am all about moving slow. THAT is probably the biggest 180 for me! Lol.

This is the biggest 180 for me too. I’ve learnt a lot of patience (thanks to generous exchange of patience shovels here), I’m no longer reacting, judging, getting upset when things don’t go my way. I’ve also learnt a lot compassion. No… I take it back… I did have compassion, just didn’t know how and when to use it, if it makes sense.

Our lack of communication is a huge reason we grew apart. And here we are, continuing to keep each other in the dark. I think H thinks I am happier without him, he has already said that. I think we both make many assumptions about what the other thinks and feels....

I don’t have the same kind of communication with my H, but is pretty much the same in terms of assumptions. I believe my H thinks that I’m doing just great without him.

And I ask myself pretty much the same questions, if H will wakes up before this M is over, or if he ever wakes up at all, and if he does, will it be possible to repair what was broken.

My take is this. I am processing, just like H. I am learning about myself, learning who I am, figuring out what I want, what makes me happy, what I want in my life. It's almost as if H and I are going through the same motions, just in different worlds, with a brief connection here and there.

This reminded me of some Heart Blessing’s posting about the stages of MLC, where she talked about how MLCer and LBS go through similar process and if nothing happens, they should eventually reach the same destination.
 

In this process, THESE LAST THREE STAGES(Depression, Withdrawal and Acceptance) is where the MLC'er learns the SAME lessons the LBS learns, and the MLC'er learns these lessons THROUGH the LBS actions TOWARD the MLC'er....as the LBS is the staunchion, or the pillar of strength..the "lighthouse" if you will...they are the source of strength that "draws" the MLC'er back.
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In the first half, they are trying to find themselves, and we must give them this space..in the latter half, the connection is attempting to rebuild itself between the husband and wife,(if they make it that far, it should mean, if nothing happens, that they can and should finish together) and it is then the bad habits of a lifetime are broken, and balance restored...they are strong enough in that last half to see the damage they've done, face their issues, and LEARN(I did say, learn) to respect the one who has been there for and with them throughout this crisis.

I’m thinking about this very often. Mleigh, like you, I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m just doing my best to have one step at a time.

I hope you enjoy your walk and lunch. Oh… and I want to be on a spring break too and 9 days of sleeping LOL. Enjoy!