Maybell XXXVIII: Settling In

[Maybell]

Today to celebrate my birthday a day late, My Guy and I took the kids on a BIG outing today... And at one point when we were figuring out some logistics, I got the first sound of Mr. Fantastic's first name out instead of My Guy's name.

I don't know if he caught on. I SO hope he didn't.

I feel kind of sick about it. I really care about My Guy. He relies on me, he supports me, he is thoughtful and I enjoy being with him more every time I spend time with him. I do NOT want Mr. Fantastic back. But.... What if that moment says I do? I had a HORRIBLE actual birthday because D13 behaved APPALLINGLY towards me. And Mr. Fantastic texted me FOUR times asking for stuff, and never once wished me happy birthday. I felt like it meant that my birthday was NEVER special to him because he didn't even remember, and I was feeling down that I spent all those years with someone who cared so little for me, and now I have to share my children with him for the rest of my life.

This relationship is growing really nicely, becoming something real and reciprocal. I don't want it be a rebound. I didn't want to think of Mr. Fantastic when I talked to him... I hope it was just that it seemed like since we were caring for my kids that it was their dad.