Ah, the old unspoken quid pro quo contract... it's super passive aggressive, manipulative and controlling.
Claire, even if you honor his request, I'd call him out on it so it doesn't continue to happen down the road. Let him know that you expect him to go at face value when he requests a week.
I've had every other weekend since the get go. My daughters were 5 and 8 when their dad moved out. And it worked really well. We still honor our schedule for D19 (if you remember, she's got intellectual disabilities). He gets her 2 nights during the week and every other weekend. I pick her up Sunday night after dinner.
I've been at this a long time, and it may seem easy peasy now, but I had to work to get it so that it's where we are. In the beginning, I requested the first Sunday of every month to review the month. It may seem like babysitting, and maybe it is. But the girls needed consistency and I needed the routine. In addition, I needed him to clearly see that the things I had always done (like take off work to go to doctor/dentist appointments, etc) were on that calendar so he could see that without asking for more time, I had the leverage without changing anything. He was reluctant to do that, so it kept our schedule a lot more fair than if I didn't put those commitments in front of him. Of course, work travel was excepted, and emergencies popped up on both sides, and we did what was necessary to scramble.
Let him see how much you already do, Claire. And make it clear that he's her dad and she values their relationship. Who cares if he eye rolls. If it's in your decree, make sure you get what was given to you... it's in your D's best interests to keep her dad engaged, and it will also give you a consistent schedule to make plans too.
We are at the point where it really doesn't bother me if he needs to switch stuff up. My youngest is 19, and we're in a really good place. But it took a long time to get here.
I was an am a fan of having an entire weekend free. It gave me the chance to do things for myself. It still does. And when I pick her up on Sunday nights, she's super excited to come home. Who couldn't like that?
Set that boundary, Claire.
And hugs to you.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
