Life's a Dance-One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

[melweb]

Thanks HW and Sotto. I think I did pretty good with that interaction. Like I said, its getting easier and these BDs (can I even call them that?) don't really surprise me. In fact, I would not be surprised if he changes his crazy a$$ mind again in a week or two. Or tomorrow. Or tonite.

He has taken it a step further this time tho and told S15 that he was leaving while I was at the booksore last night. I thought this was gonna be really hard for him, and was kind if banking on him not being able to do it. And I still think saying and doing it are two different things. Maybe it was hard as I did not witness it. He loves S15 more than life itself. Anyhow S15 shot a truth dart--- he wants to go back to state we just moved from, 1500 mi away. H has been adamant that he would fight me if I tried to take him back, and I needed to stay here so he could maintain an R with S15, for his support and of course the possibility of us working on M. I honestly was not making a decision until S15 knew all the facts. But I was really leaning toward NOT moving. But did not want to show H all my cards.

So H just came in to talk while I was typing. Mostly about me and S15 moving back. Logistically and financially, its not even really possible. Plus I have a job and an apt here. We would go back to nothing. S15 has one friend there he is missing and I am not sure that is reason enough. I guess I have some thinking to do, but H brought up some good points. How do we work on M and possible reconciliation if we are 1500 miles apart? Again I stayed calm and collected and just told him have some things to think about. (I find it interesting that he talks about this being a 'separation with possible reconciliation, ' yet in the same breath makes it sound a whole lot more permanent.)

I really am ok today. I am going to church then gym. I have some boring mom stuff like laundry, but I will maintain PMA. He does not get to rent space in my head today!!


I do think I have to move my cake but still unsure how to do that.