Each sitch is different with regard to walking and/or waywardness.
As a general thought there are often OM in these sitches. In two cases I know of the EA was with an OP who was actively discouraging the wayward.
Actually some LBS are consumed with an A, it's existance, length and the OM. I feel that OM (if there is one) isn't as important as is thought. The wayward isn't often truly in love with the OM, they are in love with the feeling it gives, the distraction and sense of youth. The hormonal rush of it. I have been keeping a log of EA/PA and wished I had more info, these waywards almost always affair down going for whomever is available. Often a work colleague.
Very few As go beyond 2 years and many are replaced by yet another A. So it's not the OM who is important but the need for an A in my book. Many waywards feel guilty and hang on to their A to justify and keep the guilt at bay.
If your W has an A it will emerge in time, and I would not be surprised if waywardness meant she was active either in an A or seeking one. If it's secretive then there is guilt. Secretive As are usually with someone married. Her affect is indicating the possibility.
Please don't be pressurised into any action by your W placing guilt upon you especially around the Fins.
You are doing very well Sadhub with establishing your boundaries and holding to them.
Peace
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
