Well .... what to say what to say to whom I consider my MLC-sis.
Ok I totally get you are at your wits end, I think if someone who is dealing with a true MLCr never gets to a point of at the least contemplating tossing in the towel there is a part of me that questions that person on various levels. I know for me there was that saying, I may give up but not today that I chanted in my head during the darker times.
I find myself currently ... well .. as you know .. pretty much done and let me tell you, its not any less painful, there is no great release and a "Glad I did that" euphoric feeling. For me after the hurt/anger/betrayal lightened up to where I could see a different color than red it set in that she is still in the tunnel, not baked, still depressed and I had to save myself or she was going to ruin not just her life ... but mine too. Does that mean I don't want R, or my M .... no .. I still want those things but the realization that it may never happen has exceeded my hope of outlasting this. Even IF she came to me in say 3 months with a change of heart .... the things she would have to do in my mind are so unfair I have to admit I bulldozed that paved road home and she would have to pave it herself and convince me its real.
In your sitch ... I have no doubt your H is still processing, but I also think he is a low energy type and has not really been forced to do the work just yet. I do not know what makes them do this ... not sure anyone knows really, maybe its a soda blowing up in their face, maybe its a gradual waking up ... who the heck knows as it seems to be different for everyone. My long winded point to you is .... sure you could cash it all in, I was there but the question I had to answer that made it clear was "What will change?" For me ... nothing .. not like I was going to go out and find a replacement .. I still wanted W and that dream of the M and family ... so I stood. so you must answer that ... What will change for you? The pain and limbo simply do not stop, you always have an eye on them, I still do even though I have accepted my M will most likely end this year sometime.
You have done this walk so well ... better than most... this MLC thing takes a ton of time and a good deal of the movement and signs we so badly want to see, we just don't but thats not to say its not happening.
