You need to be more specific to get advice IMO.

You do not push her out. You won't accept to have any R with her if there is OP.

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together