Thank you Lady V and Sotto You both make very interesting points.
My childhood was rocked by my dad leaving and I never understood how he could leave me , my mum yes but not me. In all my Rs I have suffered insecurities because of my dad or not When I say all Rs I mean male and female. I have 4 very good friends that I e had since my teens and those Rs were truly tested over the years.
My trust in a romantic R was never 100% and that's before BD , I always expected the worse so I was prepared somewhat. I don't want to sound arrogant but through my life before W , Rs were never a problem and my insecurities led me to end two Rs very prematurely because I felt the ladies were losing interest , later I discovered I couldn't have been further from the truth. When I met W , she really catered to my Insecurities and that's was great , maybe it was too much for her long term but by the same token I improved tremendously
With W now , my thoughts are as M is over and I comfortable with that , I want to be the best RD I can be with everyone. W hurt me but that's in the past , do I hold a grudge or do I treat her as the mother of my kids and a friend ( of sorts )
Vanillia , it's hard to read your thoughts of OM because they coincide with mine exactly He found a person in termoil and made the most of it. I'm not excusing W for a second and the choices she made where all bers. I did console myself about the physical aspect as according to physical evidence and SIL , W is unable and so is OM however now the emotional side has come to hurt me more and the physical side is unimportant
I get what your saying about leaving her to her choices and if she is sick then that's on her My IC told me 12 months ago that W would get very ill because she has seen cases like mine and W is not able to cope with what's she's done and W basically ran away from her issues instead of dealing with them. IC believes W may never face them and will struggle on forever
For me the future does look ok. I spend a lot of time with my kids and I know I need to GAL I've always been a family man and in my life I have a lot to do. Between the house , the upkeep of the gardens and work I don't get a lot of down time and when I do I like to relax
Going forward , I would like NC with W but guilt does keep me from being more aggressive about this I know I was fired as a H but I can't help feeling some responsibility for the state W is in. From the first day she left she has been a mess and never asked for anything or changed history She is always kind and caring and has tried serious temp testing up to nov of last year when I told her we could never have a future and I wished we had never met To this day she sees that I have moved on and if anything flourished
I thank you for your posts and you taking the time to do so
