Melo - I'm sorry for the pain you are in. She is trying to hurt you and it [censored]. You must feel trapped and alone.
I feel many of the same things you do. Maybe moving will be a good thing? Getting rid of that negative energy. I'm in no place to be offering advice, but I wish you the best. Maybe you can think of projects/goals you used to have and start those - even in the smallest way. Getting a book from the library, watching a youtube video. Anything to get you some inspiration.
Keep up the good work - you are doing great.
M:50 W:53 MR:20 D:21 S:17 S:11 BD-Sept 2015 Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015 Actually EA In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016 W moved out:May 22 2016 OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017