Understood. One thing that I want to make clear to all newcomers is this: Don't put much stock into how you FEEL. They are not a good compass to use to make decisions. Furthermore, don't believe too much of the THOUGHTS your brain is generating. Those are just reflections of your feelings.
The only thing you can hold on to right now are your BELIEFS. Your beliefs about marriage, your beliefs about what a man should do, your belief in God. That is it.
It's ok to talk about your feelings here, it can be therapeutic and healing, and it's essential to your growth as they will reveal outlooks that might not serve you well. But don't act on them.
My motto is I don't care how you feel, I care how you ACT. Keep your feelings to yourself at home, and regardless of how good or bad you feel, ACT consistently and in line with your BELIEFS.
I too often get caught in my feelings not only in my relationships, but in life. My WAW has decided to divorce me and yet I get caught up in my feelings before and after every conversation because I feel that I am trying to please her first and defend myself and my rights as a father second. She blamed me for wanting the inheritance that by state law is not community property, would hurt my kids future because she would not be able to buy a house for them. I am setting a goal to stop this. I can no longer let her feelings of disappointment in decisions that I need to make because she is divorcing me cloud my judgement. I have to make the feelings of doing right by everyone else sit to the side and focus on my beliefs about marriage, family, God and doing what is right as a good honest and service focused man. Divorce was not my choice and yet I have to make difficult decisions for my children future and mine. I do not have to make decisions just so that she can feel happy and pat me on the back for doing it her way. Thank you Zeus126 for sharing this with Lostman so that I could also have an opportunity to view it.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
