Sparkling none the wiser

[Sparkls]

Updating: haven't had any contact with H. But the sh*tty mood as continued. Im back home in CO and it's hard. Lots of memories of very good times. I don't know how he's vilified me so much. On d-day, he was talking about how much he wanted "our" daughter to grow up a certain way and yadda. I think for a minute the fog had cleared and I got glimpses of my real H back. But then the fog came back so think I can't see through it.
He's moving 2000 miles away with a mentally unstable woman. And he's made me into this person I'm not.
Today has been really tough. I can't see any hope. And having the long travel to just think didn't help. Just feels like there's no hope left. Once that curtain of fog came down on d-day my H was lost. And I don't see him coming back.
I had hoped that 2 months of basically no interaction with me would've softened him some, but he's harder now than he was when he left. On d-day he was still telling me he loved me. Now, he could not care less.

I thought this trip home was a good idea, get out of town, visit people who love me unconditionally , but there are ghosts everywhere here. Memories of the best times of our lives. And he isn't here, and doesn't want me anymore.